Frustration Galore

Frustration: such word I hate but is just an inextricably a part of me. Can I do something about it?

G.S. Boy playmates abused my innocence. School friends didn't think I belong with them. Buried myself in the boring world of books and notes.

H.S. Left out by my girl group in school. Never wanted to be in a girl group again. I find it overbearing. Joined with the guys.

College. Broke my trust by the biggest, coolest group in class where I once belonged. Never had a peer group ever since.

Finance: My P1000 lost (coz of unpaid dept by my OWN FAMILY). I didn't even had my hair trimmed and relaxed. I won't lend my money EVER AGAIN. They're abusing my kindness.

Debut: I wanted it a formal one to be held in the *Full House-like function house by the lake in Ninoy Aquino Parks and Wildlife in Q.C. I wanted my gown to look like a flowing dress of blue and green. I wanted to be all made up even just once. But as the day approached, I just realized that it would never happen.
*from the Korean drama in GMA

It turned out to be a not well-prepared buffet at home. And I became the waitress.

Acad: Why did I let myself fail that Algebra??? I've paid HALF the price of it by taking a special class. Next summer I'll take Trigo (the subject in which Algeb's the prereq).

END NOTE: I dunno.

The Proust Questionnaire

featured by buji babiera

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
- Contentment. When you become contented with the good things you already have, you won't have to seek more. You'll be happy, and happiness may just become ALMOST perfect.

What is your greatest fear?
- Fear of being rejected/left out/misunderstood/not understood at all

Which living person do you most admire?
- My boyfriend. He can be so effortlessly friendly and approachable (he's also good in Math and in computers) while with just a word I can make others hate me.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
- The trait of not thinking that we are responsible for other people (strangers, distant relatives, etc). I mean, why just be good to those close to you???

What is your greatest extravagance?
-Wearing dangling earrings and make up on perfectly ordinary days. Sometimes, material things can make me feel beautiful and accepted.

What is your favorite journey?
- Journey from home to UST and back. This is the only way for me to learn those social skills I should have developed in childhood and high school.

On what occasion do you lie?
- When I don't want my wretched emotions known.

Which living person do you most despise?
- People who just don't think that they are responsible for other people. So ibig sabihin marami akong kagalit: some family members, classmates now and then, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, sometimes even myself.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
- Ewan and I don't know. (No, these are the words.)

What is your greatest regret?
- Trusting friends/would-be friends too soon.

Where and when were you the happiest?
- Sometimes with my boyfriend, sometimes when doing silly senti stuffs.

What is your current state of mind?
- I wanna devour the contents of our college books.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
- Introversion and wariness. These two hinder me from growing up.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
- To prove once in a while that I'm no-brainer. (hai, sobrang baba na tingin ko sa sarili ko eh, I'm so clumsy talaga)

If you were to die and comeback as a person or a thing, what would it be?
- A reincarnated me. Aayusin ko buhay ko from DAY ONE (hahaha).

What is your most treasured possession?
- Those few person who still think that I'm part of their lives.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
- Being alone. that feeling sucks the purpose of existence out of one's life.

Where would you like to live?
- On the umblemished places of my country, where I could just be myself.

What is your favorite occupation?
- Well, I wanna be a college prof. I'm not that smart myself, but I have this drive to excel academically and share my knowledge to the future generations. I'll influence them in such a way that if I can't do something to change the future of the country, I'll make sure they will. And if my parents want me to work abroad, I'll be a preschool teacher (in-demand till 2011 ata, haha)

What is your most marked characteristic?
- anatomy: mole on my face (bangaw/ piece of chocolate daw) - other things??? I dunno. Maybe being opinionated, making myself looking strong, and helping my few friends if possible

What is the quality you like most in a man?
- gentleman qualities

Who are your favorite writers?
-JK Rowling, Mitch Albom,Nick Joaquin, yeah...

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
-Dr. Gregory House. Very masungit (snobbish) eh. But despite his weirdness,I know he does his work to save others

Who are your heroes in real life?
- My parents. Very industrious. See, even now that my father doesn't work anymore, with his bank savings we, remaining 4 children, can still finish college.

What is that you most dislike?
- Many aspects of myself and people who just don't think that they are responsible for other people, dishonesty, infidelity. corruption.

How would you like to die?
- I imagine myself dying coz of an incurable disease. I'll take my last vacation in Bora or in a Caramoan(in Camarines Sur) beach. On a starry night, I'll leave the comfort of the house/hotel or inn room and wander on the shores. I'll do it every night till death seize me.

What is your motto?
- Honestly I don't have a motto. Maybe this principle can be considered as a motto:If I can't change the future, I'll make sure THEY will.